Behind the door | Tired of “having sex”, want to “make love”

Lydia* has had many relationships in her life. Repeat. And lots of sex. In love? Not much. And he is “tanned”. Interview with a serial monogamist in deep thought.

Posted at 5:00 pm.

Silvia Galipeau

Silvia Galipeau
The Press

We have been exchanging emails for over six months. Through random dates, we finally ended up meeting earlier this summer, on his sunny porch on the North Shore. His testimony-river looks like a grocery list, sure, but also a balance. And in a twist, basically.

“I’ve had some bad relationships!” exclaimed the dynamic 53-year-old blonde, both loud and funny, lucid and dreamy, in a burst of laughter among many others. I’m tired! I don’t want anymore! I want just one! »

He told himself without being asked, even if his memories were a little fuzzy. We didn’t hide from him that we lose the poison sometimes. But whatever. The main thing is elsewhere: in his reflections on his happiness (and his hypocrisy, because yes, Lydia is “fake”!) And his new priorities now, in 50 years the age.

That’s it

His first time? Around 18, with a simple friend, and yes, it was a disappointment. “Ah yes, that’s it! he grinned. I was not happy. She spent the next two years with a boyfriend (her first love, a guy she met early in her teens), but again, the sex wasn’t really like that. “It makes me careless. I never enjoyed it. »

It was at 20 that it was “tumbling”. “The stampede,” he said. In short, and to make it short, after a heartbreak (that we don’t remember), he juggles four relationships at the same time. “Here it is party. “But no, he can’t use his leg anymore. “Maybe more for the pleasure of seduction. Lydia, quite reserved, shy, uncomfortable in her skin as a teenager, fully realizes her beauty here. “Hug, beat me! “, he realized. And this will give him the greatest benefit.

He had a lover at the time, a story that lasted four years. In bed? Not better: “Right, no more. »

Then at the age of 30, Lydia met her “fiancé”, the man of her life, as they say, she believed.

I like that, sex with him. I think it’s because I love him. That’s the story. So I saw that he was quite handsome.

Lydia, 53 years old

But no, he didn’t have an orgasm with her either. In any case, he didn’t remember. “It doesn’t happen often,” he laughed.

Note that he probably doesn’t know. She won’t tell us until later, but yes, Lydia faked an orgasm. “Yes, he laughed! I can! I’m a good actor. If I want it to end, or if it’s ordinary, I fake. I’ll tell you: I’m a good artist! But why? “I must be hard to please. Or the man is just ordinary. »

Clarification: not only to the particular man, but to all his companions in general. Except for the latter. You will see.

However, the groom in question left her, after about three years. “The worst grief of my entire life. To forget, Lydia went out, thinking she had a one-night stand, which would eventually last for more than two years. Then? “Right. No, wait, good. Yes, yes, good. Maybe I let myself down more. »

At the end of his thirties, he spent six years (“my longest relationship”) with another man, with whom the “peak” was no longer. He cheated on her, to see if her libido was elsewhere. And he is.

In fact, and over the years, Lydia finally began to find her happiness. “I still have a lot of joy and happiness. There, I knew I was multiorgasmic, I saw the difference! “How? Why ? A “let go” he said, and then colleagues who know better, with age “what to do”, he believes.

Am I still waiting?

It can’t be invented: Lydia immediately leaves this man (and this lover) to become the mistress of her first lover, then her ex-boyfriend. Do you follow? Regardless, the best is yet to come. “Until I said to myself: I don’t want anymore,” he said. I found it difficult to be just a teacher, at one point…”

He continued to have relationships again (we stopped counting), and we seriously began to think about where we were going to take all this, when suddenly, Lydia stopped. And think out loud. “No, I’ve never been single for long,” he confirmed, shaking his head. But would it be different if I didn’t prioritize sex? “We asked him to explain himself:” For me, it is important, in life, to have good sex, he answered. But yes, if you have sex easily, you have a sexual connection, but that does not mean that you are good with this person in everyday life. So his questioning, we can understand: “Should I wait? »

Because he knows this: “I can count on my hand the number of times I’ve fallen in love. […] But did I learn to MAKE love? […] Sad: I have not always MADE love in my life. »

But, now, at the height of his 53 years, that is what he wants. What he was looking for.

And surprise: for a few months, in fact, Lydia dated a man, met online, and this time, believe it or not, it was a hit. “I discovered my body, what I want, I let myself go. And he has experience. “. That’s not all. He fell in love. Better yet, you guessed it: “I MAKE love!” he finished with a smile.

* Fictitious name, to protect his anonymity

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