4 tips to follow for your relationship to last

If most Disney stories end in ” and they lived happily ever after and had many children good because the rest oflove story which we have just seen is only in our imagination. How can we make this “happy forever” apply to our relationship? This is the question all couples ask themselves. Dr. Amy Johnson, marriage counselor and personal development coach, shared 4 tips that helped her in her romantic relationship as well as most of his patients. For the American site Your Tango, he reveals his advice, which is shared by couples whose relationships have lasted for many years.

“Don’t repeat the same patterns of love”

Easier said than done, breaking old romantic patterns takes time and a lot of effort. If we think that a new relationship can be different from our past failures, that’s when we always go back to our old romantic patterns, sabotaging our relationship in the process. That we are always attracted to the same kind of emotionally unusable partnerthat we find ourselves living in similar situations or even in similar conversations, it is possible to get out of it.

“PTo get out of these patterns, you need to know them. Learn to recognize what drives this pattern of love to come out of it before it starts or becomes too big. he explained.

If you realize this, you can do itadjust your reaction to change the ending. If this is an argument that keeps coming up, change your answer and dismiss the situation. If you end all your relationships after three months, for example – even if it’s good – try to make it last a month, even if your ego tells you to do the opposite. Think about the result you want to achieve and your ideal relationship. What needs to be changed in this situation to overcome this seemingly recurring obstacle?

“Make sure you want it”

For your relationship to work, you need to know what kind of relationship you want. Starting a new story unsure of how seriously you’re looking or if you’re ready for a relationship is the best way to get it to end prematurely, no matter how it feels. .

Learn to feel and prove what you want. You can change your mind during the relationship, but for it to continue, you need to know where you are going. »

Learn to listen to your emotions and confirm your desires and your feelings, not to let your doubts and uncertainty take over. Is this the kind of relationship you want? Do you feel good about this person? Rely on your instincts but keep quiet the little voice that will lead you to your old patterns of love.

“No one can make you happy: you alone have this power”

In a romantic relationship, we always expect a lot from our partner, thinking that one sentence, a different attitude on the part of the other will make us happy. This can be explained in some situations, but for a working relationship, our happiness should not depend on another. It’s easy to fall into emotional trust, but it’s even more complicated to separate from it.

You are the only one in control of your emotions. It depends on how you interpret the actions and the stories you tell yourself. Not because of what your partner said or did. Of course, that doesn’t stop you from giving your best in a relationship. But if you do it, it’s because you feel good about doing it, not because you expect a reward. If you expect someone to make you happy, you will inevitably be disappointed. he explained.

Of course, if your partner exhibits toxic behavior, your happiness will inevitably be affected and the best option is to end this relationship. But for you to be happy with someone, you have to learn to be happy with yourself first: your relationship is only one thing that makes you happy, but it just might not be the reason for your happiness.

“Learning to Give and Forgive”

For someone show love in a relationship, we must learn to show it by our side. And even it seems naturalwhich is on the defensivein love, you must learn to lower your vigilance.

When we feel that someone is in reserve, it is normal to make a reservation, but our own restraint is what hurts us the most. according to Dr. Amy Johnson.

For him, love does not involve relating to that person, but learning to forgive and love even when you are hurt, so as not to be overcome by hatred. Show love instead of hate contributes to your personal happiness, regardless of the state of your relationship.

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