For love, I adopted my brother’s son after he died

Because of friendship, family or romantic love, they achieve amazing things. In its “Par amour” series, every summer week, Konbini tells you their stories. This week, we talked about Sandrine and Cloé.

“If we don’t know, we can’t predict what happened to him”Sandrine told us about little Cloé. “What Happened to Him”, it is the unnamed, the unspeakable, the dream. When, on September 22, 2017, his father beat his mother Ghylaine, 34, before it was burned alive before his eyes.

The young mother died a few hours later from her injuries in her hospital room. And, throughout the night, her life changed: the little girl, who was 7 years old, orphaned by her mother, and her father accused, was soon imprisoned and her parental authority removed.

But then he can be confident her aunt Sandrine, already mother of two children. He went to his brother’s bedside before he died and promised him: he “may leave in peace”she “it’s up to you” of his only daughter. More than taking care of it, Sandrine adopted her niece. A “piece of paper”which cannot be changed “nothing” for Sandrine, but it meant so much to Cloé.

“For me, it doesn’t change anything”

Shortly after Ghylaine’s death, Cloé was placed with her aunt. But just five years later, on April 5, 2022, the measures launched in December 2020, a passage before the custodial judge, his father’s verdict, some administrative delays and a council of family later, whose adoption was made official.

Since June 22, written in black and white, Cloé has been showing her family record book, along with her siblings now, Luca and Guillaume, aged 13 and 24. Sandrine tells us about their satisfaction family life, and the conditions of adoption.

Cloé, who was very much like her mother, extinguished her eleven candles and progressed. After the summer holidays, he would go to fifth grade. He was described by his aunt as a “super solar, happy and very big girl” or “full of life, always funny”. “He has a nice little strong temperament”he scoffed, adding: “She takes on her mother’s character: she knows what she likes and doesn’t want.”

“Change your last name”

This adoption, he wanted it above all else. Because it isThis way, especially for Cloé Sandrine did it. “For me, nothing has changed and I mean him”he told us, before proceeding:

“I told him that in my heart it hadn’t changed anything, that it was just a little piece of paper and that he had the same place as my two sons. But for him it was very important. To me thinking he needed to rebuild a family, he told me he wanted my sons to be his brothers. family. ‘”

“But what’s more important to him is to change his last name.” This father’s surname, who, every time a teacher calls him in class, every time he takes out his identity card or that he passes in front of his mailbox, is violently reminiscent of the nightmare of feminicide committed by his father to his mother, when he “took a bottle full of gasoline, poured [sa] sister and burned the fire “.

“Children need to get used to it”

New name then. But new life too. After beginnings that took some effort to adapt, things are pretty cool now. Sandrine says:

“It was very good, but, at first, it was very difficult for my 13-year-old. When Cloé came in, she was 7 and she was 8. She took up a lot of space because she had to do to feel that. She, that eleven years apart from his brother, suddenly no longer the youngest, he had to share with his parents, his house, everything.

He continues: “Then he had to find out in detail what had happened to my sister because he was in danger of finding out it from Cloé. And since they didn’t have the same character, he really had to let them be gentle with each other. one: one more extroverted, the other as introverted as possible. “ But now that’s all “Understood someone else’s move, everything was fine, we heard them laughing like brothers”.

The boys were of course consulted before Sandrine began the adoption process. “There were discussions within the family where everyone was able to give their opinion. ”“ As for welcoming Cloé, before she was taken home, we had a little family reunion, we talked about it to get everyone’s opinion and impressions. . We did the same for adoption. Especially since in adoption, we still enter a completely different dimension.

Because the adoption of Cloé, beyond its symbolic meaning, has a real legal effect. The day Sandrine disappeared, for example. “In the eyes of the law, he has exactly the same rights as my biological children once I leave. There is no problem and the decision is made immediately.”

“I can’t see myself leaving him somewhere else”

The adoption of a third child will inevitably have a concrete impact on the couple’s finances. But, Sandrine assured him, not the pecuniary aspect “Not reallyt considered for meditation “.” I have already made my decision in my head, if not before talking to my children and my spouse “, he explained. And to confess:

“When I went to see my sister in the hospital and was told she couldn’t live, I told her she could go in peace, don’t hold on, don’t worry, because I’m there. I told her I would take care of her daughter, without questioning myself and before even telling anyone. Afterwards, of course, we talked about it, but I couldn’t see myself leaving him somewhere else, not really. I have a very strong relationship with my sister so that, for me, it is unthinkable that her daughter would go anywhere outside of my house.

During Ghylaine’s life, the two sisters discussed this scenario, but more than twenty years later and only in the situation where Sandrine first leaves:

“We never talked about Cloé’s case. But Ghylaine was the mother -in -law of my eldest son, unknown to his father and whom I was the only one raising. When I chose him as that one during a Republican baptism, I told him I was the one who chose him because if one day something happened to me, I wanted him to take care of Guillaume, which he immediately accepted. She was my son’s second mother, she was the first to hug him, before me, they were both together. “

“So there’s an agreement one way, not the other. But he knows very well that if anything happens, I’m there for his daughter, at least I think she Sandrine.

“He asked me if he could call me mom, but I couldn’t get rid of my brother”

What has changed? The detail is not very small, this adoption hasinvolves many things in Sandrine’s daily life, because now that Cloé is in her family record book, “All the steps are simpler, I no longer have to carry a big pocket full of all the judgments and court decisions”whispered the mother of the family, laughing.

Another important question: what does Cloé call Sandrine because she’s her child in the eyes of the law? “He always called me daddy”Sandrine replies, confessing that the question of calling it something else is being asked: “One day he asked me if he could call me mom, but I couldn’t. I told him I was going to replace him, that I was there all the time he needed me, but that, and even now officially I have her. She will be her mother in the eyes of the law, her mother is only one. I will not kill my brother. “

Another symbol that can be confusing: Mother’s Day. On this occasion, many elementary schools have a habit of having children make gifts for their mothers. But, once again, the question was dismissed without any embarrassment. “EHe handed it to me, saying to me: ‘This is the gift for Tatas’ day.’ Like him giving Father’s Day gifts to his uncle. But what we usually do every last Sunday in May is buy flowers for my sister and we get together. ”

“Impossible to predict what happened to him”

Lots of turmoil the girl got with energy and stamina that evoked admiration. A school change first, because, on the transfer, Cloé, who had previously been educated at Plessis-Robinson, attended a school in Boulogne. And it’s very good: “He’s there full of friends, he was invited all the time. If we don’t know his story, it’s impossible to predict that it all happened to him. She is very good. I even thought that sometimes he did very well and that one day he might fall, but I hope not. “

Now, and at her request, Cloé has stopped the psychological follow-up she has been doing for three years, following the agreement of the doctor who followed her. “He’ll be back there if he feels the need one day of course”develops Sandrine,“but now she’s doing very well. Cloé has been waiting a long time for this adoption and, since the April verdict, I believe that on a happiness scale of 1 to 10, she’s at 10.”

Now president of the National Union of Feminicide Families, Sandrine recently published He left her, he killed her published in the Archipelago. He fought for better care for the families of the victims. We recently interviewed him on the topic of the video.

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