Is love a contract like any other?

It’s so simple, I’ve been through it all. I had a Valentine’s Day ring, had a married lover, was on Tinder, divorced, was involved in a toxic relationship, was ‘good’ in a relationship and I was in love with a woman. TANAN! Despite this, I decided to work on love as a subject of study, just to dismiss it all. And I know:

A little: Love is not egalitarian. Women and men are not equal in love relationships. I’m not saying this, it’s the literature: everything that is in the order of feelings is more in line with the social construction of femininity. Love has many areas in women’s lives, with sometimes serious consequences.

Little two: Love is more of a drug. Love and emotional dependence are often confusing and confusing. I’m not saying this, it’s science: the same neural circuits and the same hormones are involved in Love and Addiction. Normally, according to scientists, this is an important process for connectivity.

Little three: Our relationships are regulated by social conventions, tacit contracts in a way. I’m not saying this, it’s sociology. For example, it is generally accepted that a couple’s relationship is monogamous, that it includes sexuality and romantic feelings.

However, a contract can kill love (like addiction and inequality, I’m sorry to spoil the mood). But as the sage says, it is better to light a candle than to remain in the dark.

The artistic and loving performance by Jeanne Spaeter

Jeanne Spaeter, Swiss artist, gives an explanation of this topic. Jeanne is a performer and works between Bern and Paris. His projects explore the boundaries between the private and the artistic, between reality and fiction. And the least we can say is that he was personally involved in his research. His latest artistic performance titled “Relation Amoureuse de Qualité” proposes to question the unspoken rules of love through a project as rich as it can provoke.

After a market study, she was in a relationship in January 2021 with Mike, an unknown, for a year. The two partners are linked in a contractual romantic relationship where they both keep a diary and the Instagram account @relationship_amoureuse_de_qualité. The 14 clauses of the Quality Relationship Contract regulate specific hours spent together, use of nicknames, sexuality and expression of feelings. And this is what Jeanne told us about her last Valentine’s Day:

“February 14, 2021 ….”

“I was organizing a treasure hunt for my boyfriend. The clues in the form of songs brought him to me. I suggested that he record our commitment as a couple with a tattoo. I chose the word “Schatz” (my nickname for him), he chose the word “love”.

She hugged me and put a candle in the room. She bought red wine and took care of arranging the small cubes of cheese on the silver plate. It was his turn to give me his gift: a mixtape he had created and on which he composed some songs. The first is called “Jeanne”. He makes a heart -shaped pizza, where the pepper slices form smaller hearts. We had sex by candlelight. We didn’t say “I love you” to each other. Our relationship has been in place for thirty-seven days and it is only necessary from six months after the signing of the contract.

We passed a regulation on Valentine’s Day, in accordance with clause 9.3.2 of the Quality Love Relationship Contract, which stipulates that it is a special occasion, where each partner is required to prove their love for each other. today, special attention and/or a surprise event. ”

Jeanne and Mike separated in November, thanks to clause 12.1.3 which allows the contract to end before its term. This separation is probably good news for love. The end of this contractual relationship of love reveals one thing: freedom is an essential element of love. It is true that inequalities, contracts and trusts seem less in line with the idea of ​​freedom. But it’s all about knowledge, which gives us the ability to negotiate rules and tasks, and to renegotiate when necessary. To be, program wide, happy.

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