What happens when you end a relationship with a narcissist?

Having a romantic relationship with a narcissist can be difficult and the situation can be extremely stressful, but it can also be detrimental if you end the relationship. Separation is always a hard time, but when you’re with someone who uses others and worships themselves, it can be even harder.

At first glance, narcissists seem attractive, devoted, and charismatic, so leaving them can be more difficult.

Here’s what to expect when you break up with a narcissist.

The separation seemed brutal and sudden

Narcissists are good at playing a role in getting what they want from you, according to Drs. Judith Orloff, a clinical psychiatrist at the University of California, Los Angeles. But once they’re done using you, there’s no problem throwing you away like a used handkerchief.

The person won’t apologize or regret, and you may never hear from them again, no matter how long your relationship has been going on. When this person comes back into your life, it’s because they realize they have something else to get from you.

Prepare to beg or bargain

It can be very hard to leave because narcissists don’t want to lose their victim, so they won’t leave you quickly.

Be prepared to give them a second chance to see them “change”. They may suddenly start doing things they don’t want to do. They might say things like “you’ll disappear without me” or “you won’t find someone like me”. But really, it’s just a trick to get scared and come back.

Do not make any contact

That means blocking their number, making sure all emails from their address go into your spam folder, and deleting them on social media. It’s hard, but mental health counselor Dr. Stephanie Sarkis explains in an article in Psychology Today that this is the best option, because sooner or later the narcissist will find a way to get you back.

The narcissist knows what to say to keep you coming back. So you have to be brutal and fast. It’s probably better that we break up because of the text, so they don’t manipulate you anymore.

If you’ve forgotten something narcissist, it’s better not to look for it. Think of it as a very small price to pay for your mental health and well -being.

Get everyone like you on social media

Sometimes it is better to start from the left and cut off all contact with people like you, psychologists advise. This includes their friends and family, from all social networks: Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, LinkedIn…

The more people like you, the more opportunities the narcissist has to get back into your life in some way. He can also use his friends to try to make you jealous.

Remember why you broke up

If you break up with someone, some good memories may come back, causing confusing feelings of guilt. These feelings are often unreal and not representative of the relationship, psychiatrists warn.

You may remember a time when your spouse sent you tons of messages every day and kept praising you. Compliments are a very good thing if they are sincere. But if a narcissist uses it, it can be part of a technique called “love-bombing,” in which the person is bombarding you with love but with a hidden motive.

To remember why you broke up, write down the reasons you left. Are you always humiliated by your partner? Has he insulted you before? Does he always make you feel crazy?

They “go on” then

Most narcissists don’t take time to heal from a breakup because their feelings are never sincere. Usually for a narcissist with plan B to replace you.

Accept grief as part of the healing process

Grieving can be an important part of your recovery, so accept it when it comes, Dr. advises. Sarkis. After all, you have many reasons to mourn: the end of a relationship and the person you think is your partner. They were flooded with love when she first saw you, and those feelings are still there, and they are strong and intense.

However, there are good reasons to leave, so keep in mind that many of those feelings are likely based on something wrong.

Focus on yourself and do the things that make you happy

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Above all, you need to focus on yourself, as Dr. Orloff. Use this time to try new hobbies or go out to meet new people. If you go out of a relationship with a narcissist, you can be embarrassed by new people.

But you no longer have a relationship, it’s time for you to meet people who will make you happy. You are sidelined when you are with the narcissist because your needs are neglected. Now is the time to take care of yourself.

You will realize that relationships are not like this

If you are ready, you will find someone else. Dating is part of healing. However, you don’t expect to find the right person.

Go and have fun. Maybe you’ll meet a wonderful person, or maybe make some good friends. Either way, these people can be a breath of fresh air.

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