What is the link between sex, love and fertility

Philosopher Jeanne Larghero narrates this drama involving PMA, which has affected many parents and children. A drama that shows that the separation between the sexual act of love and fertility is not small and sadly opens the door to horrific abuse.

A chilling story: an American gynecologist, fertility specialist, admitted to giving birth to her patients for at least twenty years using her own sperm, without their knowledge. He tricked the couple into thinking they were using an unknown third-party donor. He tricked the couples involved in the treatment without a third party donating, and therefore believed they were both biological parents. It takes place in Indianapolis, the facts are revealed after a young woman, after a simple DNA test, discovers the existence of seven paternal brothers and sisters … even though she is the only one son. She was aware of the conditions of her pregnancy, which was artificial insemination with an unknown donor. He discovered with sadness that the size of his kinship, especially with his siblings, continued to increase.

The uprising of the victims

In fact, during his first public witnessing, some adults were surprised to notice a striking physical resemblance between them and him and also began an investigation. Others are put on track during a genetic test for medical purposes, or even simply “for fun”. So far, more than 90 people have discovered that it was not their father who raised them, but an abusive person. And the account is not over yet. This doctor Cline would identify and then deny the facts and be fined, after he lied to the prosecutor, a fine of… 500 dollars for obstruction of justice. We cannot put words into the uprising of the victims.

Who are the victims? Apparently all of these adults resulted from these deceptive inseminations. There were dozens of them living within a 40 -kilometer radius, and some already knew each other before their relationship was discovered! The fear of incest is present in all the evidence. But these victim husbands also discovered that they were not the biological father of their child: “He took everything from me”, as one of them put it.

Painful feelings of sexual abuse

And what is shocking is the sense of injustice experienced by all these mothers, who are also victims. They stated that they felt the intent of a sexual offense, a sexual assault on the part of this doctor. However, this fact cannot be judged as such because of the lack of physical violence, their consent to artificial insemination, and the lack of control over the origin of gametes over time. And there is no law to punish gamete donation fraud. However, to listen to them, their revolt is less about cheating on the gamete than about this physical feeling of rape, of intimate aggression.

The artificial separation of the work of love and sex from fertility unfortunately opens the door to the horrific abuses which this documentary has witnessed, and others that have already been revealed.

What is it really? In an injustice felt in an extremely deep, visceral way: because fertility, sexuality, love and self-sacrifice are so closely intertwined that if one of the components of this whole that comprises us is attacked, then the other parts will be shaken as well. . We can see this clearly: here these women are deceived into allowed to use their fertility, even though their body and their psyche are screaming for sexual abuse. The artificial separation of the work of love and sex from fertility unfortunately opens the door to the horrific abuses which this documentary has witnessed, and others that have already been revealed. But it also has an irritating effect: the painful feeling of sexual abuse, a feeling that cannot be denied, despite all being ignored by justice.

The union between sex and love

It reveals to us in the void, and in the emptiness, the infinite precision of an integral human vision. The fact that sexuality, fertility and love are the three sides of the same truth, are the three parts of human gift, is the most unifying vision that exists. Instead of focusing on what is at stake in respecting this unity as practices (PMA, contraception, surrogacy) we will understand and first of all how it protects us. It protects women from all that wants to control their desire for children, a legitimate desire, a desire that holds the guts and makes them as vulnerable as the fear of an unwanted child. This story, relayed in the documentary Our father by Lucie Jourdan (Netflix), is not considered a simple news item, nor as the isolated act of a whistleblower. It shows how necessary and predictable a healthy anthropology is: those who, since Humanae Vitae bold and intelligent promoting a combined vision of body, sex, fertility and love clear vision. They have words that will allow victims to feel understood, they have words that will allow the women of tomorrow to no longer see others throw away their bodies, that is, to be truly free.


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