The orgasmic gap, a gap to fill for bed equality

A study published in 2017 in the scientific journal Archives of Sexual Behavior came to the conclusion that only 65% ​​of women regularly reached orgasm during intercourse compared to 95% of men.

According to Léa Séguin, a doctoral student of sexology from the University of Quebec in Montreal (UQAM), inequality about happiness is considered normal, which contributes to not resolving the issue.

From the beginning, we put the man’s happiness first. The man had to come for it to be counted as sex. If the woman and man do not come, we will easily accept her. »

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Léa Séguin, doctoral student in sexology at UQAM

The key to female orgasm: the clitoris

Léa Séguin has observed that vaginal penetration dominates the bed of heterosexual couples. Clitoral stimulation, but the key to female pleasure, remains on the foreplay bench.

We prioritize and prefer vaginal penetration as a sexual activity. Everything else appears to be preliminary, coming before the main course. Unfortunately, vaginal penetration is not something that directly stimulates the clitoris. »

An excerpt from

Lea Seguin

Sara Hébert, co-editor of the publication Magic caressesbelieves that female sexuality is not understood.

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Author, host, editor and translator Sara Hébert

Photo: Radio-Canada / Hamza Abouelouafaa

According to him, the sexual act is not linear, but circular. Foreplay can be the main course for some.

I always tell my colleagues that, for me, a sexual relationship is not a start, a main course and a dessert. It’s like tapas. »

An excerpt from

Sara Hebert

Looking for his happiness

Lori Malépart-Traversy directed the animated short The clitoris in 2016, when he was studying at Concordia University. Fascinated by feminist topics, she discovered information online about the female organ, the clitoris.

I realized I didn’t know much about the clitoris. I was mad to realize that at the age of 24. »

An excerpt from

Lori Malépart-Traversy

A few million views later, his short film taught him that this misunderstanding remains widespread.

Sara Hébert encouraged women to discover their bodies, especially through masturbation. Thus, they make their happiness their priority simply because they deserve it.

It’s a job to grow and love yourself more. We have low self -esteem and we may think we don’t deserve to be completely satisfied. When we refuse to be just a matter of desire, we take back the importance of our happiness. There, we are in a relationship of goodness. »

An excerpt from

Sara Hebert

For her, communication remains the path to be made to have a satisfying sex life.

“It’s dangerous. In love, you want to leave yourself. We don’t want to talk, because[on a peur de] put some people. We will have the opportunity to fall in love again hundreds of times. It’s worth breaking the magic to explain things, and then it can get better. – Sara Hebert

Orgasm, a matter of men

Léa Séguin believes that the orgasmic gap is also explained by the lack of knowledge of female pleasure. The belief that women can only get satisfaction from intimacy and romantic intimacy persists, she said.

We don’t consider women’s sexual pleasure to be natural. It is not something that is natural in femininity or necessary for sexual gratification. [de la femme]. As for men, it’s natural and self -evident. »

An excerpt from

Lea Seguin

She explains that this shame that surrounds female pleasure prevents women from expressing what they want. They are afraid of being judged by their partner and prefer to keep quiet at the risk of being rejected.

“One of the biggest factors that explains the gap is the shame women feel about their bodies, their vulva. When we’re young, we lose the motivation to touch. It’s very different. relationships with men [à leur corps]. – Sara Hebert

Léa Séguin says that the socialization of women instills in them the obligation to be wise and obedient.

Léa Séguin, doctoral student in sexology, University of Quebec in MontrealEnlarge the image (New window)

Léa Séguin, doctoral student in sexology, University of Quebec in Montreal

Photo: Radio-Canada

“When a woman asks for sexual activity from her partner such as cunnilingus that does not include physical pleasure for her, it is completely selfish. And many women are uncomfortable asking. – Lea Seguin

Full screen female happiness

According to director Lori Malépart-Traversy, the honest and realistic representation of female happiness on screen is minimal.

In the cinema, it is easy for couples to fall in love. There was penetration then the companions immediately enjoyed. This image persists in real life. We have this idea that a sexual relationship is about penetration only. This is just vaginal penetration and so the woman cums. »

An excerpt from

Lori Malépart-Traversy

Ms. noticed. Séguin loses the discourse that emphasizes female pleasure before puberty. She explained that sex education classes examine the anatomy of the female sex and do not discuss the function of the clitoris, other than identifying its position.

“It plays with taboos. Women will explore their bodies later than men. They will find out later what they need. – Lea Seguin

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