Romantic relationships at work: why romances with co -workers are always inevitable

A third of 550 respondents said they formed or maintained a relationship with a partner during the pandemic, an increase of 6% since the days before the global health crisis.

The workplace is a breeding ground for love and fleeting love. Yet many companies are upset with co-worker pairing and view it as an HR dream.

Experts say there are specific reasons why workers can never stop engaging with their co-workers, even when alone during a global health crisis.

Although the topic was considered taboo, 75% of respondents in the SHRM survey said they were OK with their co-workers dating. After all, half of them said they liked a partner at some point.

And while fraternization is a headache for many companies, the romance between partners has existed for decades, even centuries.

“Even back in the industrial era, there was a lot of talk about attracting people to the workplace,” explains Amy Nicole Baker, a professor at the University of New Haven, in the United States, who studies these phenomena and psychology in organization.

As early as the 1800s, romantic interactions took place in early administrative work, with women and men in offices engaging in “unnamed behavior”, according to critics of the time.

But many couples meet at work, and it doesn’t have to end in scandal (on the contrary, it could end in a fairy tale, like the Obamas, meeting at a Chicago law firm at the age of twenty). ).

Data from 2017 shows that one in 10 heterosexual couples in the United States say they meet at work.

There is some data that shows that people between the ages of 20 and 50 spend almost four times more time with co -workers than they do with friends, so this happens naturally.

“It’s no surprise that so many people are noticing people at work,” because work “takes a lot of time” over the years, ”said Vanessa Bohns, a professor of organizational ethics at Cornell University (United States). studying the dynamics of love activities between partners.

While the most common methods of finding a mate are changing (more people meet through the internet, for example, and fewer people meet through family friends), those who find love at work “a constant” in statistics, according to Ms. Baker.

This constant continues until pandemic, a time when interacting with co-workers can be less risky because you are not under the watchful eye of your boss or teammate.

Some colleagues secretly work with one or the other as they adjust to working remotely.

“As long as people interact in a shared work environment, you can see the basic mechanics of human attraction happening,” Baker said. Whether the surroundings are physical or virtual.

And the psychology behind these mechanisms inevitably attracts partners to another, even during a pandemic.

According to Amie Gordon, professor of psychology at the University of Michigan (USA), who studies the psychology of relationships, the workplace is a privileged place for developing the two factors that cause attraction.

Spending a lot of time with someone “is likely to pave the way for romance, for all the factors we know contribute to passion: intimacy and familiarity,” she says.

First, the more we see something (or someone), the more likely we are to like it. This characteristic of familiarity is a psychological bias called the exposure effect: “Just looking at someone over and over again” can create attraction, according to Gordon.

Research has shown that being close to a person for a long time can help arouse a desire for them; the more we see someone physically and the more interaction we have with them, the faster interpersonal attraction develops.

This bias can even apply to bosses who favor employees who spend a lot of time with them.

But this prejudice is not limited to physical proximity.

“It’s also about emotional closeness and intellectual intimacy,” Ms. Baker. Whether it’s email or Zoom, “they’re always in touch with each other,” he says.

This constant exposure and interaction generates desires regardless of physical location, which may explain why office romance persists during long -distance work.

Another factor beyond the physical office is people’s preference for people who are just like them, who can keep working, because co -workers choose the same career and company.

“If you’re the same lawyer, or if you’re the same background, or the same mindset of the world, that similarity can also promote sympathy and understanding,” Ms Baker said.

While office romance is almost inevitable and widely accepted, it’s still complicated.

First, it can increase the risk of sexual harassment, unhealthy workplace environments, and create conflicts of interest.

More often, an office romance can also make the rest of the team uncomfortable and affect the performance.

“When a team member has a relationship, and they’re no longer a partner, it changes behavior in an uncomfortable way,” Bohns said. “You don’t know what’s right anymore.”

However, because the love of the office doesn’t go away, some experts believe that intelligent companies will allow their employees to date, while ensuring that professional boundaries are not violated.

“The best approach is to address the problem, rather than pretending it’s non-existent or unnecessary,” said Johnny C. Taylor Jr., SHRM’s chief executive.

If you’re sparking an office romance, experts urge you to consider your motivations and weigh the benefits and efficiency.

If you have a relationship with a boss or subordinate, they strongly recommend that you notify Human Resources immediately and request a reassignment from the supervisor.

But if you’re dating a partner, a situation that is considered by many to be less dangerous or problematic than dating someone with a different level of power, it’s up to you to tell the other person.than in the human resources department, according to Ms Baker.

You have to know that the rest of the team can “think about it,” Taylor said.

Ms. believes. Baker that this method should be used as soon as possible; the longer a person waits for the revelation of a relationship, the more others “feel they have something hidden” and “react negatively.”

Despite these rules and potentially dangerous situations, office romances will continue to exist, and with all the psychological factors at play, it’s hard to blame co -workers for loving each other.

However, it is important that employees are aware of the implications, no matter how relaxed the group is or how small the consequences are.

After all, not all office romances end in a “happy ever after,” and it’s not fun to see your ex’s face on your daily Zoom call.